About a year ago, I decided I would try to be Lark News. This is one of the results.
A lamb-themed restaurant at a Matoon, IL megachurch is the subject of bleats of protest from the flock.
The restaurant is located in the market quadrant of the main campus of the New Heavens, New Earth Community Church, between the coffee shop (Holy Grounds Beanery) and intimate apparel boutique (Victorious Secret). Gerard Helpfley, one of the 13,000+ member congregation’s 70 shepherds, says that the restaurant–christened The Lamb of God–was meant to showcase the work of parishioner Emmett Abel, a farmer who raises sheep. The menu features gyros, kabobs, and kafta among more familiar fare like lamb chops with mint jelly.
One member, who wishes to remain anonymous, complains, “I dunno. It’s just the Bible says we’re sheep. Isn’t this sort of like cannibalism?” Another member, Bob Cain, is fuming mad. “Lamb of God? That’s blasphemy!” But Abel is undaunted. He shrugs off Cain’s protest as a case of jealousy. “Look, he’s just mad because the shepherds turned down his offer to put in a vegetable stand from his home garden and chose my restaurant, instead. I can’t help it if they had no regard for Cain’s offering.”